January 2012
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warmskin:
my sister really thinks im going to stop picking my nose just because she’s looking at me
December 2011
my little brother: what animal is corn from?
me:
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kohthefacestealer:
Where can I get a free abortion? I’m 18 and yeah make fun of me for having sex but I was just living my life but yeah I’m really not ready for a child!
I need to know where I can get a free abortion! I don’t wanna use my money because I’m saving up for a new phone. Thaaaaaaaanks :)
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me tomorrow morning
mom: hey hun good morning
me: illuminati
mom: what
me: 9/11
mom: .. do you want eggs?
me: corruption
mom: poptarts...?
me: were being watched
mom:
me:
mom:
me: ................ umbrella ella ella ay ay ay
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blackmormon:
nuggits2:
when i was really little i was at my hatian friends house and her mom was talking to me and i didnt hear her so i said “wat?” and jesus crist she gave me a look like she saw the devil and went up to me and said really slowly, “dont you ever say WHAT in my house.” so me being a pretentious little white girl, i said WAT again and she grabbed me by my little pink collared...
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blackmormon:
if a girl ever says shes a gamer because she can play mario kart on gamecube
just make it look like an accident
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New Year, New Me(:
– every single status on facebook during the first week of january
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tranquilizes:
illuminaughty
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waxxx:
RIHANNA - We Found Love
Send “We found love” ringtones to your cell phone
[Rihanna]
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a...
me: *walks in a starbucks*
clerk: hello how can i hlep u
me: i want a starbucks
clerk: ok sure these are the different kinds of coff-
me: NO
me: I
me: WANT
me: A
me: STARBUCKS
me: THE
me: WHOLE
me: BUILDING
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brodicus:
getting your girlfriend pregnant so you have milk for your cereal
saddeer:
i asked my mom which ovary i lived in when i was still an egg and she gave me the weirdest look ?
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madgay:
is anyone a surgeon can you remove my feelings
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